Have you ever heard the expression "I feel fat"? Well I have on many occasions, and I want to announce that "Fat" is not a feeling, you can't feel fat. Either you're fat and or you're not. It used to drive me up the wall when I would hear women say that, what does that even mean?! You feel fat? What does fat even feel like? Now I simply correct people when I hear that, for example the other day I was on a crowded bus, and I heard a pretty young woman, probably not much older than I was, complain to her friend saying she felt fat. At the moment I felt my blood boil ever so slightly, so I turned around and smiled politely and said
"Fat is not a feeling".
She looked at me stunned and said
"Excuse me?!"
So I repeated myself. Before she had the chance to stop me, I was ranting, (well more like expressing my strong views) I told her :
"Fat is not a feeling. You're skinny so how do you feel fat? Perhaps you're having an off day and not feeling your usual self, but that does not mean you feel fat. Tell me what does feeling fat feel like?"
She looked at me astounded and seemed lost for words, then she said :
"I feel ugly today"
At that point I damn near lost it. She said she felt fat because she was having an off day and felt ugly. So I said :
"You're not ugly, and you know that. I'm sorry that your ego wasn't fuelled today by compliments, but just because you're having an off day doesn't mean that you're fat, and you certainly have no idea what it is like being fat. So I suggest the next time you open your mouth you take the time to figure out what you want to say and make it clear."
She looked beyond shocked, I don't think anyone has put her in her place before, fortunately for her my stop was coming up so I left her with this :
"Oh and FYI fat people are not ugly, just look at me" and I smiled and got off the bus.
Why do people think that anything negative (ugly, unhealthy, unhappy, lonely etc) is synonymous to being fat? I am none of those things, yes I have my off days, but I don't blame that because I'm fat. I'm sick and tired of fat people being treated like some unknown species, like we're not even human beings! So if you're having an off day because your feeling lonely, unwanted, unhappy etc, don't you dare say you feel fat! Because you can't feel fat, it's not a feeling! If your feeling down, just say "I'm feeling down", because that is how you truly feel! It's time society stop blaming and dumping everything negative down to being fat, and actually deal with these negative feelings.
I'm so glad I got this off my chest!
Now it's your turn, ever had to correct someone about "feeling" fat? Drop me a comment, and let me know!
5 comments:
i totally agree with you "Fat" is not a feeling...
See i think that the problem now days is that in magazines and advertisment we only see this skinny supermodels, and we all want to be skinny. I'm in the middle, i'm a size 6 or sometimes i'm 8 depending if the size runs big or small, but i have to say i dont want to be a small, i think with medium i'm fine... but sometimes i see so many magazines only advertising skinny girls that i believe that i'm fat myself.where are beautiful becuase of our inside not becuase of the way we look...
It is a great post, and I must say it is the first time I think about it in that way... "Feeling fat" was just as normal for me as feeling tired. I never tought about that actually this isn't a feeling just a state my body is in.
I will think about your post the next time I am not feeling well and wanting to tell myself it is because I am feeling fat today!
you are so wonderful for writing this post and sharing, WE ARE OUR WORDS truly people need to realize that and by saying it to yourself you are making it ok for others, great post! <3
Thx for this great post! No one says...ow i m feeling like having black hair ( a big nose, long legs, a fat butt or small feet), they dont even say i m feeling skinny, tall or beautiful, freckled. I have days, when i feel fat, it s more that i feel blown up, that my belly is a bit in the way when sitting or when my favorite jeans is suddenly a bit tight. That makes me feel fat, fatter as usual. But feeling fat is much different to feeling unhappy. Feeling ugly is not being ugly.
Feelings are only possible in the present moment, triggered by something. Mostly ur mind, which immediately remembers an event, where something similar happened, drags u emotionally in this special moment. "Ow last time someone looked at me in the same way and when i passed him, he yelled at me...fat cow!"
and whoops u feel like crap.
Our mind does that hundred of times a day with us, and we let it. Its our "red alert" to protect us in dangerous situation, tell us "be careful" and we liste, cause we are used to.
But u can have exactly the opposite by consciously using ur mind. Think of something that made u happy, a smiling baby, a sweet puppy, a situation in which u felt really good...believe me in a twinkle of ur eye u will smile bright. And u are able to go on smiling and feeling good, even when ur mind is already busy with something else.
Dont let other ppl rule ur emotions, u can choose to smile and feel beautiful!
Thank you ladies for your comments, I loved reading them :)
@ Andri - I couldn't agree with you more, the mainstream media does play an essential role for people, so if they're constantly putting people down that aren't a size 0 or 2, that affects people, people are seeking approval from the media instead of accepting who they are.
@ Katrin - I'm glad, I think if we actually took the time to think of how we're feeling and addressing those feelings, it allows us to be honest with ourseleves and anyone else.
@ Lala - I couldn't agree with you anymore :)
@ Petra - Words can be very hurtful and it only takes two words to damage someone's confidence. I've learned that if I'm happy with who I am, that's all that matters. I've also noticed that if someone says they "feel" fat it's just another way of saying you're lonely or whatever, anything negative people think its synonymous to being fat, and that's wrong, people need to address how they truly feel instead of putting it off to "feeling fat".
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